Sometimes families have to make hard decisions about the care or guardianship of an elderly family member whose physical or mental health has declined. In the worst cases adult siblings end up battling each other in court and then a judge makes the decisions. A much more constructive approach is working with a mediator to have a deep discussion of the elder’s needs, the family members’ resources and willingness to help out, and the likely consequences of various courses of action.
Topics a family might address in mediation include:
- how to take care of an aging relative in poor health
- whether a senior is still able to make decisions for himself or herself
- who will make health care decisions for a senior who can not do that anymore
- who will make financial decisions for a senior who can no longer do that
- which family members will share the costs of care for an elderly parent
- which family members will help with transportation and visits for an elderly parent
- whether the elderly parents should move to a continuing care retirement community (CCRC) instead of continuing to have one adult child live with them
- how much the adult child caring for aging parents should be paid from the parents’ savings, which the siblings would all share in inheriting if they are not used up
Getting started in mediation about such matters can be challenging, because often one family member thinks that no outside help is needed. A group phone call or video conference with a mediator may clarify concerns and help with the decision about hiring one.
