Divorce often involves riding an emotional roller coaster: fear, anger, relief, denial, grief, exhilaration, guilt, blame, despair, anxiety, and, one hopes, belief in your ability to heal and build a good life for yourself and your children.
When I divorced, there was no magic pill for dealing with the crazy emotions, the financial issues, or the legal issues quickly. What did help was finding support from others who had lived through or were living through their own similar nightmares. If you already have lots of friends and relatives who live nearby and are willing to listen to you for hours and help you calm down, build your strength and confidence, and find ways to work constructively with an ex you may hate, that’s great. Your kids really need you to do that. If not, I recommend looking for a divorce support group. Most areas have them available, often free or so nearly free that you can manage it. Obviously, it both members of an ex-couple want to do this, they need to find separate groups. If you don’t like the first group you try, check out a couple more. Links to some support groups are near the bottom of the page here. You may be able to find others through faith communities and community organizations.
In addition to finding a good support group, you might consider working with a qualified counselor or therapist for a while. If depression or anxiety is making it difficult for you to do your work or to give good care to your children, find the help you need.
